When you finally start to think that you are in control of your child's upbringing process and have everything under control, your golden child suddenly becomes a teenager ... and you are completely lost.
Rate hike rule
The more authority you delegate to your teenager, the more your insurance rates rise.
On the question of cleanliness in the house
The only cleanliness help you can get from your teenager is to keep your refrigerator clean less than half an hour after you return from the grocery store.
1. Bad news: Your teenage son prides himself on his ability to hiccup loud enough to wake up all the neighbors.
2. Even worse news: he is working to increase his range.
A storm warning
Your teen's room looks like it did after a twelve-point storm ... and it does after he cleaned it.
The guy with whom she fell in love without memory does not know that she generally lives in this world. The more she gets to know him, the less she likes him.
The law of illogicality
Teens are by no means logical and rational — even when all other possibilities have been exhausted.
Selective memorization rule
Teens remember (and repeat) your most disgusting epithets, but they forget their promises to do the dishes.
Truths about pocket money
1. If your teen has a job, he will have more money for personal expenses than you.
2. If you need to shoot a couple of cents from him, "it will cost you" ...
Guaranteed teen torture
Whatever you put on yourself and whatever you say to people, your teenager will be ashamed of you.
Under no circumstances should you laugh, sing or dance.
For best results, it is best not to breathe.
Your growing child will walk in front of or behind you - anywhere, but not next to you.
How to react if you are neglected
Do not be upset if your grown children treat you with disdain. This will only last seven years or so.
1. When children are young, they think their parents are "the smartest people in the world."
2. When they become teenagers, they consider their parents "hopelessly old-fashioned and long ago, forgotten everything they ever knew."
What to expect after a compliment
1. A teenager who says: "You are an awesome mommy" - in the next few minutes intends to ask for your car for the evening.
2. The teenager who says: "You are the best mom in the world" - in the next few minutes intends to ask for your car for the evening, plus $ 25 for gasoline and petty expenses.
3. The teenager who says, "You are the best mom in the universe," just smashed your car into smithereens.